Fit the crappy stuff in the cracks and make room for joy
A couple of times a week an email pops into my inbox from Jeannette Maw, a joyously inspired woman also known as The Good Vibe Coach. I love these emails, and the way they are waiting for me at the butt crack of dawn when I first focus my bleary eyes on my phone to satisfy my morning FOMO.
A recent email subject was, “make room for joys” and it included this advice:
“Instead of fitting fun in the cracks (which often means it doesn’t happen), let joy get top billing. Fit the crappy stuff in the cracks.”
What a concept!!!
Instead of entering our days braced for powering through dreaded tasks, diving into difficult (but surely important) conversations, and dwelling on the dismal – we could do what makes us happy and fit all that crappy stuff in the cracks! Eat dessert first! Play before work. Snatch some time to read that book we’ve been dying to read now, instead of waiting until the very end of the day when we’re too exhausted to enjoy it.
And only do the hard stuff if we have time for it.
Sounds awesome, doesn’t it? Waking up in the morning and getting out of bed is so much more exciting when you have things to look forward to instead of a bunch of crappy stuff waiting for you.
“But!” I hear you say. “But, Kerry, I have a JOB. If I don’t go to work I’ll get fired and then the there will be no joy anywhere.”
“Um, Kerry? Bills have to be paid.”
“I keep a house running – like, you know, cleaning things and feeding people and watching the kids. I can’t just NOT do these things or everybody suffers.”
“Also, guess what? It’s important to know what’s going on in the world. I’m not planning on being an ostrich.”
Okay, okay. I know the drill. I lived the grind for years, and still fall into occasionally – but my life shifted dramatically toward the more joyful and delightful when I learned to start prioritizing and focusing on good things and reveling in the joy wherever I can find it.
The Giant Manure Pile of Life
Whatever we focus on grows – so when the crappy stuff is getting all of the attention, it can feel like we’re standing on a giant manure pile that spreads as far as the eye can see.
The silver lining to this situation is that manure makes for good fertilizer and helps things grow. Imagine the wonderland that could pop up out of all that s*!#!
Baby Steps Toward Joy
But let’s start small. Prioritizing the joy might mean anything, but here are five suggestions to get you started:
1) Skip the grueling workout and take a pleasure walk, preferably in a park or somewhere where there are grass and trees, or water and sky.
2) Take a mini vacation – 15 minutes, an hour – to sip a favorite beverage and read a book.
3) Dance party! Put on some upbeat music and cheat on your tasks with a solo dance party – or dance while you do them!
4) Make a date with a friend – lunch, a walk, a movie – find the time.
5) Look for things you DO enjoy, or that at least feel satisfying, in your daily routine. What small thing is fun or rewarding about the task that really needs to be completed now?
Suggestions of Crap to Shove in the Cracks
1) The news. Give yourself a break. Limit the time you spend letting all of that harsh reality into your world. (Personally, I think skipping it altogether isn’t a bad idea – you can be sure some well-meaning friend or family member is gonna fill you in on truly important stuff)
2) Social Media – give the doom scrolling a rest. It’s amazing how much time we spend either feeling sad about the tragedies and difficulties of relative strangers – or feeling jealous of other people’s apparently perfect lives (hint: nobody’s life is perfect). Follow cat and bunny accounts and people who hashtag #joy
3) Worry
4) Self-criticism – any self-defeating thoughts that tell you that you are not enough, that you’re flawed or broken, that you never get it right – or replaying internal evidence that others don’t like you, or respect you, or think you are enough. In fact, forget stuffing that crap in the cracks – bury it. (Or even hit up somebody like me for a little positivity coaching)
What joy will you make room for today? What crap will you shove in the cracks?